1
00:00:02,959 --> 00:00:06,620
Hi, Alistair. Where are you with the
location for the training and admin

2
00:00:06,800 --> 00:00:10,050
I'm just waiting on a couple of reports
on that. Make it a priority.

3
00:00:10,100 --> 00:00:13,920
What the fuck have you two been doing?
You haven't got a song, or a cheer

4
00:00:13,921 --> 00:00:16,779
or a location for the training and admin
centre. We have a perfectly good

5
00:00:16,780 --> 00:00:18,139
location for it in Kingston.

6
00:00:18,140 --> 00:00:22,619
We are spending a lot of money. How do
we justify to Tasmanian taxpayers all

7
00:00:22,620 --> 00:00:24,300
this premature infrastructure?

8
00:00:24,540 --> 00:00:25,860
Build it and they will come.

9
00:00:25,861 --> 00:00:29,419
to realise they might as well use it.
Can you do whatever it takes to get one

10
00:00:29,420 --> 00:00:33,759
your government mates to lock in
Kingston? A much grander, major

11
00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:37,379
project down that way would shore up
your electoral position there, though,

12
00:00:37,380 --> 00:00:38,430
wouldn't it?

13
00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:45,220
We want a stadium. We need a stadium.

14
00:00:46,780 --> 00:00:50,160
And they never had a bloody gutful over
your...

15
00:01:05,580 --> 00:01:11,240
Prime Minister, we need $670 million for
health funding now.

16
00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:16,070
Well, I was kind of hoping that we could
have a stadium and a health system.

17
00:01:18,140 --> 00:01:20,960
Oh, uh, could you just, um, hang on a
sec?

18
00:01:21,881 --> 00:01:24,779
Returning your call, Premier.

19
00:01:24,780 --> 00:01:26,540
We need that budget revised down.

20
00:01:26,541 --> 00:01:29,499
And if we don't get it by Friday, you
are in breach of the development

21
00:01:29,500 --> 00:01:30,550
agreement. Okay, bye.

22
00:01:32,100 --> 00:01:33,150
Shit sticks.

23
00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:38,140
The unanimous choice is our first...
What's a better word than first?

24
00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:40,490
Inaugural.

25
00:01:40,491 --> 00:01:41,639
Inaugural, coach.

26
00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:45,439
Why use a simple word when you can make
yourself sound like an intellectual?

27
00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:47,139
Rhetorical question, obviously, Jamison.

28
00:01:47,140 --> 00:01:48,190
Yeah, of course.

29
00:01:48,620 --> 00:01:49,670
Why?

30
00:01:51,540 --> 00:01:53,540
Am I day looking any less insane today?

31
00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:58,899
It's full but doable, although I have
got you out of town for a sponsorship

32
00:01:58,900 --> 00:02:01,850
pitch while you're here doing the coach
press conference.

33
00:02:01,851 --> 00:02:03,639
Have you organised the doppelganger?

34
00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:04,900
No, it's just finger food.

35
00:02:05,071 --> 00:02:09,399
Did your mum say anything about the new
coach?

36
00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:12,559
Just that she and the board thought that
there were six better candidates, but

37
00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:14,080
you pushed hard for your man.

38
00:02:14,940 --> 00:02:18,610
This is where I start to put my stamp on
the culture of this place, Jemison.

39
00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:21,770
What are you doing?

40
00:02:21,771 --> 00:02:25,839
Just celebrating your masterful work in
securing the land at Kingston for our

41
00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:27,139
training and admin centre.

42
00:02:27,140 --> 00:02:30,020
What? You... Settle down. It's non
-alcoholic.

43
00:02:30,260 --> 00:02:31,310
It's quarter to nine.

44
00:02:31,311 --> 00:02:34,579
What time do you like to start having
non -alcoholic drinks?

45
00:02:34,580 --> 00:02:36,939
It's no different to drinking orange
juice or coffee.

46
00:02:36,940 --> 00:02:38,759
Why don't you drink orange juice or
coffee?

47
00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:39,899
Because I like the taste of this.

48
00:02:39,900 --> 00:02:40,950
The wine taste?

49
00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:42,580
The non -alcoholic wine taste.

50
00:02:42,820 --> 00:02:44,200
It's a shocking look.

51
00:02:44,201 --> 00:02:46,559
Alice does in the waiting room.

52
00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:47,610
Oh, thanks.

53
00:02:48,111 --> 00:02:54,679
I'll have to handball one of my
appointments to you if my morning's

54
00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:58,579
Some urgent decanting come up. I'm
announcing our coach, Destiny, so I'll

55
00:02:58,580 --> 00:03:00,420
you to do my sponsorship pitch. Me?

56
00:03:00,421 --> 00:03:04,329
The Premier's already dumped the revised
budget in my lap. I'm not a human in

57
00:03:04,330 --> 00:03:05,950
-tray. Is it true?

58
00:03:05,951 --> 00:03:07,069
What's that?

59
00:03:07,070 --> 00:03:10,369
Labor down there have rolled over.
They're now backing the stadium.

60
00:03:10,370 --> 00:03:11,829
Yeah, yeah, we found out yesterday.

61
00:03:11,830 --> 00:03:15,849
Well, that makes life a bit easier. Not
having to deal with those monobrowed

62
00:03:15,850 --> 00:03:17,650
crossbench simpletons anymore.

63
00:03:17,950 --> 00:03:19,910
You got clear and out to get the...

64
00:03:20,140 --> 00:03:22,820
Stadium up and running, the teenage
centre.

65
00:03:22,821 --> 00:03:25,939
Except that the Greens are now trying to
overcome their complete political

66
00:03:25,940 --> 00:03:29,839
pointlessness. Morning, Alistair. By
ramping up a campaign about the costs

67
00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:30,920
spending priorities.

68
00:03:30,921 --> 00:03:34,159
You've just got to hose that horse shit
down, don't you? Yeah, that's all,

69
00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:36,999
Alistair. In a state with the most
rooted economy in the country.

70
00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:38,050
How are you?

71
00:03:38,300 --> 00:03:40,860
Good. But this has got to invigorate
their economy.

72
00:03:40,861 --> 00:03:44,019
Yeah. I'm good too, thanks. I mean,
haven't you explained to them that

73
00:03:44,020 --> 00:03:45,339
got to spend money to make money?

74
00:03:45,340 --> 00:03:47,799
Yeah, but first you've got to make the
money you're going to spend to make

75
00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:50,699
money. So you spend money to make that
money that you're going to spend to make

76
00:03:50,700 --> 00:03:53,639
money? Yeah, but you've got to make the
money you're going to spend to make the

77
00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:56,719
money you spend to make the money. The
conversation could outlive the sun.

78
00:03:56,720 --> 00:04:00,599
Listen, if you started ditching out some
bloody sponsorships, people might see

79
00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:03,070
you're not completely reliant on a
public treat.

80
00:04:03,071 --> 00:04:06,819
And the new coach will obviously help
there. And the other thing is you need

81
00:04:06,820 --> 00:04:07,870
find a woman.

82
00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:08,930
Which woman?

83
00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:11,560
I'm not talking about a missing person.

84
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:17,320
You need to find a woman, oh man, for a
relationship. What? Why?

85
00:04:17,579 --> 00:04:22,039
This'll be good. Because you'll be going
to B andFs, Brownlows, official

86
00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:27,099
functions, and if you're not seen with a
woman, oh man, people will think you're

87
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:32,279
some sort of freak or deviant,
pleasuring yourself all the time. Oh,

88
00:04:32,280 --> 00:04:35,960
man? Or a woman, or someone non -binary
just be single.

89
00:04:36,220 --> 00:04:37,660
Nah, people think it's weird.

90
00:04:37,661 --> 00:04:40,699
But they won't think it's weird if he
contrived a loveless, dysfunctional

91
00:04:40,700 --> 00:04:43,779
relationship. Well, I'm not proposing it
be a dysfunctional relationship

92
00:04:43,780 --> 00:04:46,600
destiny, as inevitable as that probably
is.

93
00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:47,960
It's about the optics.

94
00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:50,060
Good luck down there on Love Island.

95
00:04:50,420 --> 00:04:51,470
Later.

96
00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:54,730
He's nice, isn't he?

97
00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:59,020
Business types like him wouldn't last
five minutes in the public service.

98
00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:02,880
You're a real dream crusher. Right. So
who's the potential sponsor?

99
00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:07,279
What's the pitch? And what about my
budget? Destiny, this is a golden

100
00:05:07,280 --> 00:05:10,859
opportunity to challenge the widely held
belief that you would flounder

101
00:05:10,860 --> 00:05:12,679
hopelessly in the business community.

102
00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:16,230
Oh. Thank you. Pump up the fact that our
coach is getting announced today.

103
00:05:16,540 --> 00:05:20,919
And this time, try to remember that
businesses like Salmania are more open

104
00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:24,579
becoming sponsors if you don't accuse
them of poisoning us all. What if they

105
00:05:24,580 --> 00:05:25,630
poisoning us?

106
00:05:25,631 --> 00:05:28,999
Get them on board as club sponsors
first. We'll worry about the genocide

107
00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:33,579
I look out. Here she comes, the human El
Nino, sucking the life out of

108
00:05:33,580 --> 00:05:37,130
everything in her path, leaving behind
desiccated husks of humanity.

109
00:05:37,131 --> 00:05:39,019
I haven't had enough caffeine for her.

110
00:05:39,020 --> 00:05:42,439
Oh, and you and me, meeting with
Vodafone tomorrow about the stadium

111
00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:43,760
rights. Jesus, Hugh.

112
00:05:44,940 --> 00:05:46,740
Sorry, Catherine, I need some water.

113
00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:48,080
I've got very dry.

114
00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:52,520
Hugh, do you have five minutes for an
idea?

115
00:05:52,860 --> 00:05:55,270
Catherine, I don't have five minutes for
a shit.

116
00:05:55,540 --> 00:05:57,700
Right, then I'll try later.

117
00:05:58,100 --> 00:05:59,580
When you've had a shit.

118
00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:13,039
You know, everything you've told us
about Opitas, your ethical guidelines,

119
00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:17,739
eco -friendly manufacturing processes,
you're exactly the sort of business we

120
00:06:17,740 --> 00:06:18,880
want to be aligned with.

121
00:06:19,020 --> 00:06:20,070
Perfecto.

122
00:06:21,980 --> 00:06:23,030
Opium poppies?

123
00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:30,359
It's not the product. It's the fact that
you're clean, green, Tasmanian and

124
00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:34,260
successful. It is an unusual proposal
though, isn't it?

125
00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:38,470
Because legally we can only supply to
the pharmaceutical industry.

126
00:06:38,580 --> 00:06:42,559
Normally with these sorts of
sponsorships, you aim to generate more

127
00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:46,500
directly to audience. And in our case,
we'd be arrested for that.

128
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:53,919
Yes. But there is also value in you
aligning yourselves with a Tasmanian

129
00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:58,059
that is going to be enormously popular,
especially after the way your reputation

130
00:06:58,060 --> 00:07:00,300
was totally shredded by the opioid
crisis.

131
00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:04,340
And there's a real...

132
00:07:04,341 --> 00:07:07,819
buzz around the city today because we're
announcing our coach.

133
00:07:07,820 --> 00:07:12,920
So, you know, we are essentially
defining the zeitgeist.

134
00:07:13,140 --> 00:07:14,190
Oh, my God.

135
00:07:15,340 --> 00:07:16,390
That's good.

136
00:07:16,500 --> 00:07:19,860
Yeah, so it is the ideal time to jump on
board, Joanne.

137
00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:22,420
Look, I'm not convinced by this at all.

138
00:07:23,540 --> 00:07:27,000
That said, we do love the footy.

139
00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:30,940
And I do like the idea of supporting a
Tasmanian project.

140
00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:34,920
But, look... Can we start off small and
see how it goes?

141
00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:38,880
Yeah, why don't we start you on the
coach sponsorship?

142
00:07:39,300 --> 00:07:41,830
You'll get invaluable exposure right
from today.

143
00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:46,060
And that's on the lower end, isn't it?
Oh, yeah. Oh, that's more a gesture,

144
00:07:46,100 --> 00:07:48,280
really. Let's do that. Lovely.

145
00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:50,340
That one's $85 ,000.

146
00:07:51,140 --> 00:07:55,100
Quite a sweeping gesture, really, isn't
it? Almost a semaphore.

147
00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:57,050
Yeah.

148
00:07:57,240 --> 00:07:59,780
So we'll just get a little MOA underway.

149
00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:03,910
Oh, we could call the coach's box the
Opi -Taz opium den.

150
00:08:05,530 --> 00:08:06,610
That's not happening.

151
00:08:11,650 --> 00:08:16,570
Along with more than 10 years as a
brilliant senior... Brilliant, maybe.

152
00:08:17,590 --> 00:08:18,950
What's the thesaurus got?

153
00:08:20,850 --> 00:08:22,170
Cerebral assistant coach.

154
00:08:22,410 --> 00:08:23,610
Clever clogs assistant.

155
00:08:24,250 --> 00:08:25,510
Egghead assistant coach.

156
00:08:25,750 --> 00:08:27,980
Hugh, Vamika Mineta's here from the
Greens.

157
00:08:28,010 --> 00:08:30,180
I cancelled this meeting. I rescheduled
it.

158
00:08:30,181 --> 00:08:32,359
Well, I have to prepare for a press
conference.

159
00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:35,250
Well, this is the only slot I have
available for you today.

160
00:08:35,679 --> 00:08:38,039
Right. Come in. Have a seat.

161
00:08:38,500 --> 00:08:40,700
My door's always open, apparently.

162
00:08:41,260 --> 00:08:45,339
Amazing. So, I know that you already
have... Actually, Annika, it's quite

163
00:08:45,340 --> 00:08:49,619
we have this meeting because obviously
the landscape's changed with Labor

164
00:08:49,620 --> 00:08:52,810
reversing their failed election policy
opposing the stadium.

165
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:57,110
Although, good on them for sticking to
their principles for so, so many weeks.

166
00:08:57,111 --> 00:09:00,389
So while we no longer need to suck up to
you for your vote or indeed listen to

167
00:09:00,390 --> 00:09:04,469
any of the woke piffle your party is
eternally spewing out, this does provide

168
00:09:04,470 --> 00:09:08,589
the opportunity to give you a better
idea about the benefits to the entire

169
00:09:08,590 --> 00:09:12,510
Tasmanian economy of the proposed
stadium you so blindly oppose.

170
00:09:12,790 --> 00:09:14,270
Before you do that...

171
00:09:14,990 --> 00:09:19,569
Could I just ask why we don't use the
existing 20 ,000 capacity stadium in

172
00:09:19,570 --> 00:09:23,510
Launceston instead of building a 23 ,000
capacity stadium in Hobart?

173
00:09:23,770 --> 00:09:27,729
Famika, Launceston does not have the
population base to support the team or

174
00:09:27,730 --> 00:09:32,170
stadium. The numbers simply do not stack
up. I'm glad you raised numbers.

175
00:09:33,390 --> 00:09:34,440
May I?

176
00:09:34,830 --> 00:09:39,850
Well, just watch out for the... Rub that
out, Jamison.

177
00:09:41,790 --> 00:09:42,840
Quickly.

178
00:09:42,841 --> 00:09:45,789
Can I just check that's not a permanent
marker pen?

179
00:09:45,790 --> 00:09:48,090
Not? Yeah. It pays to check, though, I
find.

180
00:09:48,650 --> 00:09:53,069
I've actually suggested to the
manufacturers that they distinguish the

181
00:09:53,070 --> 00:09:54,670
clear. Get on with it.

182
00:09:56,370 --> 00:10:02,949
So the state government has pledged
nearly $400 million

183
00:10:02,950 --> 00:10:08,529
for the new stadium build already. So,
conservatively, they're up for half a

184
00:10:08,530 --> 00:10:10,210
billion. But...

185
00:10:10,550 --> 00:10:16,609
If we just use the existing stadium in
Launceston, an outlay of no billion

186
00:10:16,610 --> 00:10:23,309
dollars, then you could afford to give
20 ,000 people in Hobart $40 each

187
00:10:23,310 --> 00:10:27,050
petrol money to drive to every game in
Lonnie and back.

188
00:10:27,250 --> 00:10:34,249
And even if everyone drives on their
own, that $800 ,000 a game times

189
00:10:34,250 --> 00:10:37,930
11 games a year, you could do that.

190
00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:45,499
for 50 years and you would still be
ahead on the Hobart Stadium build by

191
00:10:45,500 --> 00:10:47,260
50 million.

192
00:10:48,300 --> 00:10:53,680
But how could you be sure that people
wouldn't just spend the $40 on

193
00:10:53,681 --> 00:10:57,299
Or if they did spend it on petrol, how
could you be sure they'd actually drive

194
00:10:57,300 --> 00:10:59,830
up to the game and not to, you know,
Battery World?

195
00:11:00,020 --> 00:11:03,859
I'm not proposing that we actually do
this. I'm pointing out the economic

196
00:11:03,860 --> 00:11:05,900
stupidity of building a stadium here.

197
00:11:05,901 --> 00:11:07,879
All right, yeah, absolutely.

198
00:11:07,880 --> 00:11:11,010
The press release detailing all this
goes out this afternoon.

199
00:11:11,011 --> 00:11:14,639
If the Greens continue to oppose the
stadium, hundreds of thousands of people

200
00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:15,690
will hate you.

201
00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:18,540
They already hate us. My friends do.

202
00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:20,560
There. Thank you. Amazing.

203
00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:26,639
Anyway, I interrupted you. You wanted to
say something about the benefits to the

204
00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:27,690
Tasmanian economy?

205
00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:30,860
Oh, look, it's nothing you'd be
interested in. Just, you know...

206
00:11:31,290 --> 00:11:34,790
Boosting economic activity and
increasing the standard of living.

207
00:11:35,070 --> 00:11:36,630
Creating jobs for Tasmanians.

208
00:11:37,590 --> 00:11:39,350
Anyway, always good to talk.

209
00:11:39,361 --> 00:11:41,229
Isn't it?

210
00:11:41,230 --> 00:11:44,409
Angela wanted me to get some photos of
you and Hugh for Facebook.

211
00:11:44,410 --> 00:11:45,460
Really?

212
00:11:46,210 --> 00:11:51,029
By the way, you're a lucky stalker. Got
that land at Kingston you wanted for

213
00:11:51,030 --> 00:11:52,080
your T andA facility.

214
00:11:52,650 --> 00:11:55,250
What? Soil tests show widespread
contamination.

215
00:11:56,130 --> 00:11:57,730
I doubt it'll ever be used.

216
00:11:58,090 --> 00:11:59,250
It really is.

217
00:11:59,530 --> 00:12:01,060
Incredibly. Lucky.

218
00:12:01,061 --> 00:12:02,619
All good.

219
00:12:02,620 --> 00:12:04,060
Goodbye. See ya.

220
00:12:05,780 --> 00:12:06,880
Jamison, rub that out.

221
00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:08,130
Quickly.

222
00:12:08,820 --> 00:12:09,870
Kingston's fucked.

223
00:12:09,980 --> 00:12:11,460
What? It's contaminated.

224
00:12:11,780 --> 00:12:13,160
Why didn't we do soil tests?

225
00:12:13,161 --> 00:12:15,799
Because Alistair wasn't interested in
due diligence.

226
00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:18,899
What am I going to tell him? Instead of
Kingston, what about the old golf course

227
00:12:18,900 --> 00:12:19,659
at Rosney?

228
00:12:19,660 --> 00:12:23,280
What you can tell him is Opeta are in
for $85 ,000.

229
00:12:23,281 --> 00:12:24,939
$85 ,000?

230
00:12:24,940 --> 00:12:26,620
No, no, I was looking for $250 ,000.

231
00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:29,020
$250 ,000? It's a coup getting 85.

232
00:12:29,021 --> 00:12:32,499
There's nothing in it for them
commercially. We can't make them the

233
00:12:32,500 --> 00:12:35,570
supplier of opium to the Great Southern
Football Club. Jesus.

234
00:12:35,860 --> 00:12:36,910
More's the pity.

235
00:12:37,060 --> 00:12:40,020
Jamison, grab me a spot on ABC Radio
tomorrow.

236
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,500
Better jump on this greens garbage.

237
00:12:42,820 --> 00:12:46,560
All right. Time to make a little
history.

238
00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:51,220
Hugh, just wondering if you've had a
chance to shit.

239
00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:53,980
Uh, no. Not yet. Nope.

240
00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:55,250
Goodness.

241
00:13:03,020 --> 00:13:05,000
We're good to go. Okay.

242
00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:08,819
Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for
coming. The club and myself are

243
00:13:08,820 --> 00:13:12,359
excited to announce today that the
inaugural coach of the Great Southern

244
00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:15,160
Football Club VFL team is Luke Gorman.

245
00:13:19,380 --> 00:13:24,799
Luke, who is the unanimous choice of the
board, comes to us with over 200 games

246
00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:29,760
of AFL experience as a player, along
with more than 10 years as an effulgent.

247
00:13:29,761 --> 00:13:33,879
senior assistant coach at AFL level and
the board and I are extremely confident

248
00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:35,479
that we've made the right choice.

249
00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:37,960
We're a brand new club with a brand new
approach.

250
00:13:38,260 --> 00:13:42,379
You won't hear from us the tired old
platitudes about focusing on the process

251
00:13:42,380 --> 00:13:45,570
and execution and letting the results
take care of themselves.

252
00:13:45,571 --> 00:13:46,839
We've moved beyond that.

253
00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:51,419
We'll be focusing on winning from day
one and we know that Luke is committed

254
00:13:51,420 --> 00:13:53,340
delivering exactly that. Luke?

255
00:13:54,699 --> 00:13:55,749
Thank you.

256
00:13:55,750 --> 00:13:59,279
This is, of course, a massive honour and
I'm extremely grateful that the club

257
00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:00,400
has put its faith in me.

258
00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:02,250
Look,

259
00:14:02,980 --> 00:14:06,980
first of all, what Hugh just said isn't
strictly true. Sorry, Hugh.

260
00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:10,620
We certainly will be focusing on process
and execution.

261
00:14:10,621 --> 00:14:14,659
Yes, it's not at the expense of winning,
was my point. Well, no, it absolutely

262
00:14:14,660 --> 00:14:16,420
might be at the expense of winning.

263
00:14:16,620 --> 00:14:20,050
Yeah, yeah, in the short term. Well, I'm
not putting a time frame on it.

264
00:14:20,051 --> 00:14:23,879
It's unhelpful to focus on winning and
losing. It's a distraction from the

265
00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:27,799
things that we are trying to achieve
here, like building a strong culture

266
00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:30,500
will attract and keep players here in
Hobart.

267
00:14:30,820 --> 00:14:34,779
Absolutely. Yeah, of course, that will
be much easier if we're winning. We'll

268
00:14:34,780 --> 00:14:35,830
take some questions.

269
00:14:36,180 --> 00:14:37,920
Yeah, bubbles must.

270
00:14:40,420 --> 00:14:42,470
Club, can't wait for the season to
start.

271
00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:43,570
Lovely. Thank you.

272
00:14:50,569 --> 00:14:52,110
You need to stay in your lane.

273
00:14:52,490 --> 00:14:56,150
Look, I know it was your recommendation
that got me across the line.

274
00:14:56,650 --> 00:14:58,010
I'm the coach now.

275
00:14:58,350 --> 00:14:59,400
Stay in my lane? Yeah.

276
00:14:59,570 --> 00:15:02,820
Right. Well, maybe don't try and
overtake me. This is a massive job.

277
00:15:03,110 --> 00:15:06,810
I'll be going as hard and as fast as I
can. You just need to stay out of my

278
00:15:06,910 --> 00:15:09,320
Mate, if I need to get in your way, I'll
indicate.

279
00:15:09,321 --> 00:15:12,909
Yeah, I think you've gone too far with
the driving now. Yeah, I felt that too.

280
00:15:12,910 --> 00:15:13,960
Yeah.

281
00:15:14,150 --> 00:15:15,430
Oh, it's a mad Monday.

282
00:15:16,490 --> 00:15:17,750
It's non -alcoholic wine.

283
00:15:18,530 --> 00:15:20,090
Are you recovering alcoholic?

284
00:15:20,450 --> 00:15:22,770
No. So you're still an alcoholic.

285
00:15:22,771 --> 00:15:25,409
Even so, it's a bit early for wine,
isn't it?

286
00:15:25,410 --> 00:15:28,910
But it's not wine, is it? You just said
it was non -alcoholic wine.

287
00:15:28,911 --> 00:15:31,969
But there's no alcohol, so I might as
well be drinking orange juice.

288
00:15:31,970 --> 00:15:34,560
I'm a wine glass with wine in it. Non
-alcoholic wine.

289
00:15:34,590 --> 00:15:35,930
Which is wine.

290
00:15:36,530 --> 00:15:37,750
Without alcohol.

291
00:15:38,870 --> 00:15:40,250
I've got to be anywhere else.

292
00:15:42,910 --> 00:15:43,990
Hugh? No.

293
00:15:44,970 --> 00:15:46,950
This is not healthy.

294
00:15:52,090 --> 00:15:57,329
Mornings with Libby Kitcher. You're with
Libby Kitcher on ABC Local Radio and my

295
00:15:57,330 --> 00:16:00,150
guest is Great Southern Football Club
CEO Hugh Shen.

296
00:16:00,530 --> 00:16:06,649
And Hugh, just in reference to a story
on social media about you drinking wine

297
00:16:06,650 --> 00:16:09,870
at work, you'd like to clarify that.

298
00:16:10,190 --> 00:16:16,149
Thanks Libby. Yes, so it's non
-alcoholic wine in that glass, so

299
00:16:16,150 --> 00:16:19,070
here. Why not just drink, say, orange
juice then?

300
00:16:19,071 --> 00:16:20,979
What's the difference?

301
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,779
Well, the optics aren't great, are they?

302
00:16:22,780 --> 00:16:26,179
Well, I think we can get hung up on
optics, Libby. Well, someone who hasn't

303
00:16:26,180 --> 00:16:30,079
up is Lenny, who is on the line from
Mornington. How's the weather in

304
00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:31,460
Mornington, Lenny? No idea.

305
00:16:31,580 --> 00:16:32,880
I'm in Eggs and Bacon Bay.

306
00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:37,420
Oh, I'm sorry. I was told that you were
from Mornington. Yeah, I am.

307
00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:39,320
But I moved here when I was three.

308
00:16:39,321 --> 00:16:40,659
OK, your question for Hugh.

309
00:16:40,660 --> 00:16:44,979
Oh, look, I'm just sick of all this
negativity from the Greens about the

310
00:16:44,980 --> 00:16:48,959
stadium. I mean, I am right behind you,
mate. Build the bloody thing and let's

311
00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:53,399
get on with it. We all know it's going
to blow out to a few billion. And I tell

312
00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:57,720
you what, bury all those useless
Greenies in the foundations while you're

313
00:16:58,620 --> 00:17:01,980
Well, thank you for your support, Lenny.
I really appreciate it.

314
00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:05,310
Although I wouldn't necessarily endorse
all those remarks.

315
00:17:05,500 --> 00:17:07,400
Fuck you then. Thank you, Lenny.

316
00:17:07,619 --> 00:17:11,680
Olivia is from Launceston, possibly.

317
00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:13,280
Hello, Olivia.

318
00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:16,920
Hello. How old are you, Olivia?

319
00:17:17,319 --> 00:17:18,900
Eight. Good on you, Olivia.

320
00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:20,880
And you have a question for Hugh.

321
00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:22,440
Yes, my question.

322
00:17:36,710 --> 00:17:37,760
Right.

323
00:17:41,730 --> 00:17:45,769
Well, no prizes for guessing which party
Olivia's parents vote for. Mum and Dad

324
00:17:45,770 --> 00:17:47,229
been in your ear a little bit, Olivia.

325
00:17:47,230 --> 00:17:48,189
No, they died.

326
00:17:48,190 --> 00:17:49,450
I live with my auntie.

327
00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:59,600
I've obviously, I haven't seen the,

328
00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:04,980
I'm acutely aware that the,

329
00:18:05,220 --> 00:18:12,079
I am acutely aware of, sorry Libby, I've
lost my

330
00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:14,459
train of thought, but hopefully that's
answered your question.

331
00:18:14,460 --> 00:18:19,100
Right, do we have time for one more
caller? Yes? Time for one more. Brendan,

332
00:18:19,300 --> 00:18:21,080
you're our last caller for today.

333
00:18:21,500 --> 00:18:26,519
Yeah, hello. Look, I'm a homeless man.
I'm currently living on the street. But

334
00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:28,740
fully support Mr Shen and the stadium.

335
00:18:28,940 --> 00:18:34,419
I reckon it'll be grouse. And, you know,
people who aren't homeless shouldn't

336
00:18:34,420 --> 00:18:35,470
speak on our behalf.

337
00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:37,660
So, Brendan, you are homeless.

338
00:18:37,661 --> 00:18:41,939
100%. But where are you actually calling
from? Because I've noticed you've come

339
00:18:41,940 --> 00:18:43,340
through on a landline.

340
00:18:45,750 --> 00:18:49,709
We seem to have lost Brendan there.
We're just going to try and get Brendan

341
00:18:49,710 --> 00:18:52,649
on the line. Don't worry about it,
Libby. Grateful for Brendan's support.

342
00:18:52,650 --> 00:18:54,030
No, here we go.

343
00:18:54,310 --> 00:18:56,840
Great Southern Football Club, Jamison
speaking.

344
00:18:57,390 --> 00:19:03,409
Hang on. You are an employee of the GSFC
and you have just rung in pretending to

345
00:19:03,410 --> 00:19:06,890
be a homeless man giving unqualified
support to the stadium?

346
00:19:07,250 --> 00:19:10,330
No. No, I don't know anything about
that.

347
00:19:11,500 --> 00:19:16,920
We have actually been having a lot of
problems with our phones this morning.

348
00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:19,760
Typical bloody Vodafone.

349
00:19:20,900 --> 00:19:24,259
In fact, I think even this line might...

350
00:19:24,260 --> 00:19:28,439
I

351
00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:34,920
hope I'm not wandering out of my lane.

352
00:19:34,921 --> 00:19:38,419
Why the fuck didn't you tell us about
this? I thought I'd put it on my job

353
00:19:38,420 --> 00:19:39,470
application. Yeah.

354
00:19:40,020 --> 00:19:41,140
And then not...

355
00:19:41,370 --> 00:19:42,650
Sent the job application.

356
00:19:42,651 --> 00:19:44,049
When did this happen?

357
00:19:44,050 --> 00:19:44,829
I don't know.

358
00:19:44,830 --> 00:19:48,140
I don't remember it. Maybe we could say
it's non -narcotic cocaine.

359
00:19:48,410 --> 00:19:50,580
Online they're saying you're doing
crack.

360
00:19:51,170 --> 00:19:54,350
You need to not say anything to anyone
for some time.

361
00:19:54,630 --> 00:19:58,210
Quick time check. The press is in an
hour, so we need to come up with

362
00:19:58,530 --> 00:19:59,650
It's a deep fake.

363
00:19:59,870 --> 00:20:05,369
It never happened. The internet's full
of them and we're looking into it. Knock

364
00:20:05,370 --> 00:20:07,729
something together along those lines,
Angela.

365
00:20:07,730 --> 00:20:11,160
Please? Christ almighty, any other
disasters I should know about?

366
00:20:12,220 --> 00:20:16,260
The training in Admin Land at Kingston
is contaminated beyond redemption.

367
00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:22,840
I think it's frozen.

368
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:24,250
Leave it.

369
00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:27,860
You are a Bermuda Triangle for
competence.

370
00:20:28,300 --> 00:20:34,160
Hugh, I am issuing you a first formal
warning for underperformance.

371
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:36,740
What? No, no, you can't do that,
Alistair.

372
00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:39,790
It's okay, Destiny, thanks. No, it has
to be in writing.

373
00:20:53,180 --> 00:20:55,410
Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for
coming.

374
00:20:56,680 --> 00:21:01,579
You'll be aware of a video that's been
circulating on social media purporting

375
00:21:01,580 --> 00:21:05,220
show our senior coach, Luke Gorman,
ingesting a powdery substance.

376
00:21:06,170 --> 00:21:07,730
This is not a genuine recording.

377
00:21:07,770 --> 00:21:12,149
It is, in fact, an artificially
generated deep fake, and the club is

378
00:21:12,150 --> 00:21:14,920
investigating the circumstances around
its posting.

379
00:21:15,550 --> 00:21:19,809
Luke assures us that he has never used
illicit drugs, and the club abhors this

380
00:21:19,810 --> 00:21:21,850
malicious slandering of his reputation.

381
00:21:21,851 --> 00:21:25,889
While these investigations are underway,
the club will be making no further

382
00:21:25,890 --> 00:21:28,600
comment on this matter. Thank you for
your attendance.

383
00:21:28,601 --> 00:21:30,939
A question about homelessness.

384
00:21:30,940 --> 00:21:34,299
Shelter Taz, the peak homelessness body,
has suggested that in light of your

385
00:21:34,300 --> 00:21:38,539
staff members' disgraceful comments on
ABC Radio that you make a substantial

386
00:21:38,540 --> 00:21:39,760
gesture in solidarity.

387
00:21:40,300 --> 00:21:42,410
Is that something you'd be willing to
do?

388
00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:44,690
Absolutely.

389
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:54,920
I'm sorry, but it's still not.

390
00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:57,440
Joanne, we can still make this work.

391
00:21:58,190 --> 00:22:03,309
As a major producer of poppies, we
cannot and will not be associated with

392
00:22:03,310 --> 00:22:05,050
abuse. But the videos are deepfake.

393
00:22:05,051 --> 00:22:08,629
Well, no one's going to remember that.
Or believe it. All they're going to

394
00:22:08,630 --> 00:22:14,050
remember is that the code sponsored by
us sniffs cocaine off women's bottoms.

395
00:22:14,430 --> 00:22:17,410
So you're worried about perception
rather than truth?

396
00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:19,910
It's about the optics, absolutely.

397
00:22:20,110 --> 00:22:22,640
What if you sponsored a player with drug
testing?

398
00:22:22,710 --> 00:22:24,530
No. Training tops then?

399
00:22:24,790 --> 00:22:26,470
Perhaps try a straw manufacturer.

400
00:22:29,610 --> 00:22:31,190
That park there, okay? Amazing.

401
00:22:31,450 --> 00:22:34,760
Our poppy sponsorship just disappeared
up the coach's nostrils.

402
00:22:34,761 --> 00:22:39,489
Jamison, organise a contract killing on
me, will you? I want to get yourself

403
00:22:39,490 --> 00:22:41,629
done at the same time. It's not coming
out of our budget.

404
00:22:41,630 --> 00:22:42,680
Good morning.

405
00:22:42,770 --> 00:22:43,820
Oh, fabulous.

406
00:22:43,830 --> 00:22:48,229
What dynamite's myth has Nobel got for
us? Right then, everyone's bowels in

407
00:22:48,230 --> 00:22:53,349
order. What? All good. Thanks for
asking. Now that I've got you all here,

408
00:22:53,350 --> 00:22:55,590
wanted to flag an idea.

409
00:22:56,640 --> 00:23:01,059
So for personal reasons, this is an
issue that's close to the heart of one

410
00:23:01,060 --> 00:23:02,039
our directors.

411
00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:08,499
But I think it would make a huge
statement about us if we were the first

412
00:23:08,500 --> 00:23:14,279
club to have a currently listed gay
player come out. We would have a

413
00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:20,720
safe and supportive environment here. We
would be market leaders in inclusivity.

414
00:23:20,740 --> 00:23:22,040
And it's time.

415
00:23:22,380 --> 00:23:23,660
It's just time.

416
00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:26,840
Could we draft in a gay player?

417
00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:31,450
I don't think that's something they have
a test for at the draft combine.

418
00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:35,780
But clubs do a lot of due diligence. You
could easily find out.

419
00:23:35,980 --> 00:23:39,530
I don't think due diligence extends to
what sexually arouses players.

420
00:23:41,140 --> 00:23:42,760
Destiny, any for your thoughts?

421
00:23:43,120 --> 00:23:47,820
I was just trying to think if I've ever
been in a more appalling conversation.

422
00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:52,280
Look, all I'm saying is if you've got
two players that you're trying to...

423
00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:57,259
decide between drafting, similar
ability, and you knew one was gay, could

424
00:23:57,260 --> 00:23:58,310
for that one?

425
00:23:58,311 --> 00:24:03,319
Nope. What if he doesn't want to come
out? Doesn't want the pressure of being

426
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:07,240
the first in the AFL, being forced to be
the spokesman for gay rights?

427
00:24:07,580 --> 00:24:09,750
Well, that's all right. What have you
lost?

428
00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:11,220
Your moral compass?

429
00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:16,179
I know this is highly sensitive and will
require the utmost discretion, but I

430
00:24:16,180 --> 00:24:19,000
think we can do highly sensitive and
discreet.

431
00:24:19,001 --> 00:24:23,369
The bare -ass lady from the cocaine
video wants to know how much we'll pay

432
00:24:23,370 --> 00:24:24,420
shut her up.

433
00:24:31,450 --> 00:24:33,190
Not interrupting anything, I hope.

434
00:24:33,350 --> 00:24:37,169
We've just had contact from a woman
claiming to be the owner of the buttocks

435
00:24:37,170 --> 00:24:37,929
your little video.

436
00:24:37,930 --> 00:24:39,670
She wants money or she'll go public.

437
00:24:40,170 --> 00:24:41,310
How do we know it's her?

438
00:24:41,950 --> 00:24:43,110
Her name's Ursula.

439
00:24:45,530 --> 00:24:47,390
You can't verify that that's her bum?

440
00:24:47,690 --> 00:24:50,100
Well, I couldn't pick it out of a police
line -up.

441
00:24:50,410 --> 00:24:52,310
How is she going to prove it's her ass?

442
00:24:52,550 --> 00:24:55,550
She may not be able to, but we can't
afford the speculation.

443
00:24:55,551 --> 00:24:58,369
I'm the mug who fronted up and said it
was a deepfake.

444
00:24:58,370 --> 00:25:02,610
If that's shown to be a lie, I'm
buggered. I don't remember anyone named

445
00:25:03,410 --> 00:25:05,050
I say we call a bluff.

446
00:25:05,450 --> 00:25:09,649
Hey, I'm also the one who strongly
recommended your appointment to the

447
00:25:09,650 --> 00:25:10,730
it's my ass on the line.

448
00:25:11,270 --> 00:25:12,770
Because of your line on the arm.

449
00:25:13,230 --> 00:25:16,610
Cute. So how much money are we talking
about here?

450
00:25:17,750 --> 00:25:18,800
25 ,000?

451
00:25:19,510 --> 00:25:21,620
How am I supposed to bury that in the
book?

452
00:25:22,070 --> 00:25:23,570
Put it under high performance.

453
00:25:29,250 --> 00:25:33,369
It's a full cream milk that they use. It
makes this like a war zone. Good

454
00:25:33,370 --> 00:25:34,530
morning. Morning.

455
00:25:34,790 --> 00:25:37,250
Ooh, are they free? Can I have one?

456
00:25:37,490 --> 00:25:40,470
Yeah, sure. They're non -alcoholic. Oh,
don't worry.

457
00:25:41,390 --> 00:25:42,710
Ah, Luke.

458
00:25:45,450 --> 00:25:47,290
Bit of a problem's cropped up.

459
00:25:48,210 --> 00:25:52,110
Ursula's not the only one claiming
ownership of the featured buttocks.

460
00:25:52,510 --> 00:25:53,560
Who else?

461
00:25:53,790 --> 00:25:56,850
A woman called Selina. And a woman
called Bobby.

462
00:25:57,050 --> 00:25:58,310
And a bloke called Graham.

463
00:25:58,610 --> 00:26:00,830
Well, I can confidently rule Graham out.

464
00:26:00,831 --> 00:26:02,309
Doesn't look like his ass.

465
00:26:02,310 --> 00:26:04,050
Any of those other bums ring a bell?

466
00:26:04,130 --> 00:26:07,890
I mean, obviously, we can't keep paying
out everyone who puts their hand...

467
00:26:08,110 --> 00:26:11,989
all bottom up for this, and most of
these people are just trying it on.

468
00:26:11,990 --> 00:26:14,910
it has happened with all three of them,
is that possible?

469
00:26:16,210 --> 00:26:17,910
I mean... Seriously?

470
00:26:18,610 --> 00:26:20,960
We've got no choice but to pay these
people out.

471
00:26:23,130 --> 00:26:28,729
But... If just one of them is genuine
and they go to the press, I'll have

472
00:26:28,730 --> 00:26:33,590
cadaver dogs sniffing at me. So I have
to bury $75 ,000 in the budget?

473
00:26:34,270 --> 00:26:35,320
Do it.

474
00:26:36,190 --> 00:26:42,090
And account number is 179482466.

475
00:26:44,610 --> 00:26:45,660
Excuse me?

476
00:26:45,850 --> 00:26:46,900
Who are you?

477
00:26:47,150 --> 00:26:48,200
I'm Kieran.

478
00:26:48,201 --> 00:26:50,369
How did you get in the building?

479
00:26:50,370 --> 00:26:51,420
I'm from IT.

480
00:26:51,710 --> 00:26:53,430
Oh, fair enough.

481
00:26:53,431 --> 00:26:56,829
So what brings you to the cockpit of Air
Force One today, Kieran?

482
00:26:56,830 --> 00:27:02,219
Um, I'm not able to determine who posted
the cocaine video or... where precisely

483
00:27:02,220 --> 00:27:06,040
it's come from, but we can confirm it's
definitely a deepfake.

484
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:09,280
And that's the last bomb.

485
00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:11,650
Destiny!

486
00:27:16,560 --> 00:27:20,719
Hugh Shen, tonight's gesture is all
about making amends for what has been a

487
00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:23,310
pretty shabby episode in the club's
short history.

488
00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:27,999
Alicia, I'm here to show that the Great
Southern Football Club and the AFL take

489
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:29,260
homelessness seriously.

490
00:27:29,261 --> 00:27:32,619
What happened really was a bit of an
innocent joke that went wrong. It

491
00:27:32,620 --> 00:27:34,060
certainly... What was the joke?

492
00:27:34,120 --> 00:27:38,419
I don't think this is the time to get
into that, Alicia. It was taken out of

493
00:27:38,420 --> 00:27:41,999
context. So you're saying that Shelter
Tasmania didn't get the joke and took

494
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:43,800
phone call to the ABC out of context?

495
00:27:43,801 --> 00:27:47,409
No, please, don't put words in my mouth.
Well, they're your words from your

496
00:27:47,410 --> 00:27:49,050
mouth. That's irrelevant.

497
00:27:49,051 --> 00:27:50,829
You're taking them out of context.

498
00:27:50,830 --> 00:27:51,769
It's your context.

499
00:27:51,770 --> 00:27:54,710
Look, I'm here to apologise if we've
caused any offence.

500
00:27:56,190 --> 00:28:02,269
And to announce that the Great Southern
Football Club is donating $1 ,000 to

501
00:28:02,270 --> 00:28:07,289
Shelter Taz. And in a further show of
support, I, as you know, will be

502
00:28:07,290 --> 00:28:08,340
in this park tonight.

503
00:28:08,710 --> 00:28:10,410
Where it's currently six degrees.

504
00:28:11,610 --> 00:28:13,590
Thanks. Hugh Shen there.

505
00:28:14,360 --> 00:28:16,720
Back to you in a nice, warm studio,
Cass.

506
00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:18,690
We're clear.

507
00:28:19,520 --> 00:28:20,570
Good luck, Hugh.

508
00:28:20,940 --> 00:28:22,620
It's not going to be very pleasant.

509
00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:26,020
Yeah, the optics are great, though.

510
00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:27,650
Sure.

511
00:28:29,260 --> 00:28:31,850
Sometimes you've just got to suck it up,
don't you?

512
00:28:36,300 --> 00:28:37,680
See you at 6am sharp.

513
00:28:38,140 --> 00:28:39,190
Amazing.

514
00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:46,680
Nowhere to hide.

515
00:28:48,040 --> 00:28:51,620
Got nowhere to run to, baby.

516
00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:56,040
Nowhere to hide from you, baby.

517
00:28:57,800 --> 00:29:01,040
Just can't get away from you, baby.

518
00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:08,499
It's my honour and privilege today to
introduce you

519
00:29:08,500 --> 00:29:12,699
to the footballers chosen for selection
in the Great Southern Football Club's

520
00:29:12,700 --> 00:29:14,400
inaugural VFL squad.

521
00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:18,160
What did you do to his arse?

522
00:29:19,560 --> 00:29:21,820
Nothing. What? You whipped it.

523
00:29:21,821 --> 00:29:23,139
Oh, yeah.

524
00:29:23,140 --> 00:29:24,190
I whipped it.

525
00:29:24,191 --> 00:29:27,699
Whipped his arse. Whippin, do you want
to be responsible for the loss of a

526
00:29:27,700 --> 00:29:28,799
massive sponsorship?

527
00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:31,990
Better than being responsible for the
loss of a marine species.

528
00:29:31,991 --> 00:29:33,569
I'm actually the CEO of this club.

529
00:29:33,570 --> 00:29:38,120
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